The last one

Monday, June 7, 2010

Tonight I'm just gonna be honest and share what I'm feeling.  Its not a good feeling but I think it's best I get it all out.

As I write, my childhood friend is in the hospital hundreds of miles away birthing her first child.  While I'm extremely happy for her and her husband, I keep thinking that I'm behind in my life.  All of my childhood friends are married and/or have one or more kids.

Don't get me wrong - I love my life and those who are in it but I don't know what it's like to be a wife or a mother.  And yes, I'm gonna sound selfish here but, when will it be my time?  My day to be a bride, my day to become a mommy?

I love my love and can't imagine my life without him.  We didn't meet until we were older but I wonder what our lives would be like if we had met five years ago.  Would we already be married and have a family?  It's all a what if game but I am truly happy for Lauren and Jeremy and their soon to be born baby boy.  I can't wait to bring a baby into this world with Terry.  I don't know when that day will come but I have faith it will happen soon.


  1. Joy, God has a plan for you and you can not rush His perfection! Be patient, although it is hard, and enjoy each day as it comes. It will make the things you want so despartely even more special and treasured when you finally get them.

  2. yes it all happens when the time is right....I know I was probably one of the last of my "school friends" or "family" LOL to get married (at least for the first time).I got married when I was 30 and about 1 1/2 yrs after that had my son....Believe me I have felt the same way you's natural to feel that way ((HUGS))


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