Don't let that title confuse you, there are definitely more highs than lows while being pregnant. But, this is my take on this pregnancy... an account of what I have experienced. Please remember that every pregnancy is different, and that's why I want to share my story.
July 1st — I woke up and just had a feeling I needed to run to CVS to buy a few pregnancy tests. I decided to go with a pack of digital and the regular line or two line test. After arriving home that afternoon from purchasing them, I took one of each... both positive. My reaction was a strong longing to pray through my thankful tears. And that's exactly what I did for at least an hour in what we decided would be our nursery. I sat in the glider and cried and cried all while giving all the thanks and praise to Him. After going through our first pregnancy and experiencing a loss a few weeks after, I knew our Dr wanted me to call as soon as I got a positive test. And so I did. It was late in the afternoon so I didn't get a call back until the next morning. Telling the Mr and seeing and hearing his reaction was a wonderful feeling.
The next day my Dr's nurse called for me to come and have a blood test to check my hormone level and a few other things. I came home and decided to take the other two tests I had left. The first one came back negative and the last one positive. I was immediately shaken and worried. And would have to wait until the next day to get word from our Dr. When she called to tell me I was indeed pregnant, I was relieved. However, my progesterone was low, and she wanted me to start on a medicine to help it get it where it needed to be asap. We had decided not to tell our parents because we didn't want to get them excited like we did before just in case. But I told the Mr I needed someone else praying for us and this baby. So I called my mom.
For the next four weeks, I went to the Dr every other day for blood work so they could check my hormone and progesterone levels. Every time my phone would light up with my Dr's office name and number, I would panic. It was always good news, but I was still so emotional and worried because I was afraid of what happened last time.
We started having ultrasounds at 6 weeks, and that's when we first saw our little one's heartbeat. Our tech was/is wonderful. Each ultrasound we have had, even the ones now, she knows the first thing I want to see is her heartbeat. We had three ultrasounds before we made our announcement of our wonderful news. And each day of the ultrasound, I would cry, panic, and pray. It's like I wouldn't let my heart be completely happy because I was guarding it for news I wasn't sure I could take again. We finally got the news from our Dr that we could relax, because she was removing us from the high risk category.
We had decided weeks before how we would make our announcement. However, a few days before we planned to share our joyous news, I started freaking out. Should we, shouldn't we? The last time we made our announcement, two weeks later had to tell everyone of our loss. Thankfully the Mr told me that we had nothing to worry about. Our Dr had given us the okay, and that this pregnancy was not like the last one. Everything was going to be fine. So we shared our news with the world, and loved getting word from so many that they were praying for us!!
The next week we reached 2nd trimester and I breathed a little sigh of relief. Once we made the announcement friends started telling me they were pregnant, too. And having someone else to talk to who is due around the same time we are or a few weeks before just made me feel better. It was like we all had our own little private club and asked each other thousands of questions every day.
I remember around week 14, I went to lunch with a friend who is a week ahead of me. She was showing, a lot. Me, I still looked like me. I could tell my pants didn't fit anymore, but no one else could probably tell unless I tried to show them. I remember coming home from lunch and getting upset. Why wasn't I showing like she was? Was something wrong? Well, the answer was no. Nothing was wrong. I was just as pregnant as she was, only our bodies are completely different. I made myself understand that my pregnancy was my own and not to compare mine with anyone else's. And our next Dr's appt, she talked about my anxiety and she informed me that every pregnancy is different. And I would drive myself crazy comparing myself to anyone else.
Hearing our baby's heartbeat for the first time was surreal. We'd seen it multiple times, but hearing it was something special. And I could listen to it all day every day. With every passing day, my worry and anxiety eased up a little. And then the day I finally felt that first kick, man, that was such a relief. Being able to feel movement inside of me made me fully aware that everything was indeed okay in there.
Our anatomy scan was a bit nerve racking. We were excited to find out what we were having, but I was more concerned that everything was okay. And our prayers were answered. SHE was perfect!
Knowing the sex gave me something else to focus on. I know some people choose not to find out, but it was important to the Mr and I. Being able to call her by name, shopping for her, and getting her room ready took a lot of the worry away. Don't get me wrong, there were (and are) days where I panic because I don't feel her moving as much. But thankfully she will always give me a sigh of relief with a little punch or roll so I know she is fine.
At 24 weeks, I felt like I really started to show. Or at least show enough where people noticed. And from there, we've just kept getting bigger. And, I love it. I love passing by the mirror and seeing the belly getting bigger each week. I know I will miss rubbing her via the belly everyday, and without a doubt miss her funny movements and hiccups. But, I can't wait to have her in my arms.
Once I let myself relax and know that He was in complete control, I've loved every minute of this pregnancy. Yes, there have been a few aches and pains, and BP issues, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I've gotten stretch marks, and my feet and hands are swollen. But it's all part of this journey to meet her, and I'm happy to experience it all.
In a few weeks, we will introduce our little girl to the world. We already know we will be very protective parents, and we might be a little overly protective. But, we've earned the right to be, and have waited a long time for this day to come. Now we just wait until it's time, time to be introduced to the one who has her mommy and daddy already wrapped around her little fingers!!
I'm sure I've probably left out a few things that I've experienced so far, but I thought it was important for me to give a recap of what it has been like for me. If I could give any piece of advice for any moms to be... it's to enjoy YOUR pregnancy. And do no compare it to anyone else's. You'll see people do weekly posts about what they are experiencing and see their bump pictures, but try to remember that it's their pregnancy and not yours. Just because you didn't start showing when they did, or your bump isn't as big as theirs, doesn't mean anything. We are all different, and that's how your story should be, different. You'll get to share your story with your little one, and it be special to y'all.
And now, we wait to see if we will bring her into this world vaginally or by csection. We've gotten a lot of advice about both, but we feel it's important for us and our Dr to make the decision that is best for us. However she arrives, as long as she is happy and healthy — it will be a success!!
Putting my heart back together...
2 hours ago