Yesterday while I was waiting on my curbside to go at McAlisters, I was scrolling through FB and one of the pages I follow (Lucie's List) had a post that I decided to click on to read more. The question was posed about having a c-section again or trying for a VBAC. Considering that I had a c-section first, and already know my decision about this next delivery, I decided to read the comments. After the first ten, I quit reading. Giving birth naturally, with the aid of drugs, or by c-section — that's a decision the mom and her doctor need to decide. I understand that people say some doctors can be pushy, but remember, you chose that doctor. You and your doctor know your medical history, and what's best and safe for you and your baby.
I'll tell you that I started talking to my doctor about a c-section before I was even half way through my pregnancy with AC. And just about every single person I mentioned that to told me "you do not want to have a c-section!" No, I had never had one before, but my doctor and I (and my husband) knew that a vaginal delivery might not be the best thing for me. Here's why... I'm a very anxious person when pregnant. At our first appointment with my pregnancy with AC, I was already asking questions about the delivery. And with each appointment, my questions and worry grew. By third trimester, my doctor and my husband and I decided that a c-section was best. My doctor worried that I would go through labor only to get ready to deliver and then have to have an emergency c-section. Turns out, at 37 1/2 weeks, my blood pressure made it a no brainer to have a c-section, early.
During our first doctor's appointment with this pregnancy, my doctor suggested that we have another c-section. Terry and I both said, oh that's a no brainer, that box was checked before we left the hospital with AC. And here are my reasons... since it will only be sixteen months since my last c-section upon delivery, my doctor is worried my uterus could rupture with a vaginal delivery. Plus, I already know that I'm pretty anxious already with this pregnancy, and I'm already on blood pressure medicine. So, we know that it's best to schedule another c-section. And we are perfectly okay with this decision.
Now, I've read on other sites how other moms bash moms for making the decision to have a c-section. Saying if they've never given birth vaginally or labored, they don't really know what bringing a child into this world is like. I would disagree with that statement in a heartbeat. Just because my child made a different entrance into the world than yours, doesn't mean that my birth story and experience isn't as wonderful as yours. If you labored at home, in a birthing pool, with or without drugs, or with your entire family watching you bring your baby into the world — the beauty of it is, it's your beautiful story. I'm not sure I've ever heard the same birth story twice.
I've never questioned if having a c-section was the right decision. I trust my doctor and her team to help me bring our children into this world. And, a c-section is the way it has/will happen for them. Plus, whenever my children ask where does the baby come out, I can point to the area of my scar and tell them that's where they came out of mama's belly. =)
Husband and Mom Bashing are two things people need to stop doing effective immediately. You need to do what is right for your health. End of discussion.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much I have struggled with this!
ReplyDeleteI've had both. Both had pros and cons to long to list here :) IF we have another I don't know what I'd do yet. I was the opposite of you though. I was terrified of the CS but H was breech (and still stubborn to this day) and it had to be done.
ReplyDeleteAs I cried about it literally minutes before they wheeled me back my mom was like "Julia, it doesn't matter how she gets here, just long as she gets here"
I've been following your blog for a while and after reading this (and other posts), I'm left wondering why you have so much anxiety about pregnancy? I know you have had a miscarriage but I don't understand the source of your worry. You have a healthy baby and a full term pregnancy under your belt. You have high blood pressure but it is being medically managed. So why so much stress? Not criticizing but just wondering.
ReplyDeleteThe anxiety definitely comes from our first pregnancy and miscarriage. Other moms who have experienced the same, have a child and are expecting again have told me they have it, too. I honestly thought it would be easier this time after having AC. But, the pain and memories from our first has never left me. I'm actually working on a post that tries to explain my feelings and thoughts, but it's work in progress. Hopefully I can post it soon. I can tell you that the only way my anxiety is controlled is through prayer. Just this week I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic and immediately was calmed with prayer.
DeleteI myself have had several losses so that is why I was wondering. I now have a 16 month old who is a complete miracle and who got here only after four IVFs, lots of intervention during pregnancy (a cerclage, lovenox shots and progesterone shots to prevent preterm labor). I too had a csection thankfully as I had placenta acreta (placenta had to be cut out); if I hadn't had a csection I would have hemorrhaged and likely required a blood transfusion and probably lost my uterus. I've been told to not have any more children as the accreta will likely occur again and/or I could have a placental abruption. Too big of a risk to take with a baby already here. I've always wanted a big family and never dreamt that my road to parenthood would look like this.
DeleteMy first through third pregnancies all ended in loss. My first was horribly tragic. Twin loss at 19 weeks when my water unexpectedly broke. Twins were perfectly fine and healthy but I had to deliver them way too early. This was followed by an ectopic three months later which completely destroyed my right tube. Then no pregnancy for 3 1/2 years. Then a miscarriage. And then finally my pregnancy with my son.
So I say all of this not to negate your experience with loss. All losses are unique to everyone. But to comfort you and hopefully help you not to worry so much. Enjoy this second pregnancy. I would give anything to give my son a sibling but unfortunately that won't happen. Don't borrow trouble or worry. You are going to be just fine.
Like you, I was so anxious and I too asked about a c/s at my very first OB appt with Lilly. We ended up doing a requested, scheduled c/s and then did the same for Liam too. My OB office and hospital I deliver at doesn't handle VBACs and my births were only 17 months apart. No thanks, sign me up for the repeat c/s. I will do the same thing with baby # 3 if we are blessed with a third!
ReplyDeleteEveryone has to do what's best for them, their health, and their family. Don't ever be sorry about doing that!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Steph- we all have to make decisions that are right for us and our families. I am also doing a second C section. Nick's delivery was so scary- we had to do an emergency C section. I don't want to do that again! Someone recently told me that I should try a VBAC. I think what I *should* try is whatever is best for us! Good luck. Can't wait to see Avery as a big sister. :)
ReplyDeleteAMEN on the scar. Saved me already...way before I was ready! Haha! "right here, you came out right here" Whew!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I did not want a C-Section, and had a bad experience, I also chalk it up to laboring for 16 hours before having to have an emergency one. Everyone's body is so different. They have to take that into account. I believe a planned C-Section for me would be a lot easier on my body, and my emotions. I wish people would advocate for themselves. No one else knows your body. Not even your doctor. They can help guide you, but you need to stand up and speak!